31 January 2008

OCD?????

Okay so I thought about this all night and I'm not quite sure how to "fix" me... I know it sounds crazy but I think I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I think many people already think I'm nuts but I can't help it. I don't know how to stop myself from wanting to do EVERYTHING! I truly think this started years ago when I was in highschool. In highschool I insisted on being active in alot of different things, sports, cheerleading, student council, etc., not to mention I worked every summer a couple jobs and blah blah blah.... But I really don't know where it all stems from exactly.

Sometimes I think, well, maybe it's because I want to try to accomplish everything I possibly can in my lifetime because I don't want to go through life and be 90 years old thinking, geez I didn't really do much in 90 years....
Or maybe it's because I'm a kid stuck in a adult's body that still doesn't know what I want to be when I grow up.
Another thought is that I don't want to regret not trying to do something, so instead I want to do everything. The options for this go on and on but I can't pinpoint what the real reason I overwhelm myself is. I'm really not happy unless I have a million things on my plate.

I guess not everyone reading this knows a day in the life of me and what it consists of. But it's waking up getting myself ready, waking up 3 girls, my husband, the dog, getting the girls ready and combed, washed, etc., cereal, lunches made, make sure everything is in their backpacks, and off to school. Dropping one or two off at school and daycare (my husband takes one or two or whatever is good for that day) going to work, or on the way to work, only to be stuck in traffic. Blogging, umm I mean working all day, trying to find another job that will somehow fulfill my boring work life void, dealing with old men all day thinking they are kings in this corporate world, leaving work (early cause nobody even notices) picking up the girls all at different locations, dropping one off at tutoring or soccer, picking up and dropping the other one at dance, picking up the other one and waiting for dance and tutoring to end, go home, homework with the girls, dinner, baths, story time and to bed for the kids... then I try to relax on the couch for a while before falling asleep on the couch, only to be woken up by my husband at midnight telling me to go to bed, at which time my youngest daughter wakes up crying uncontrollably, screaming to come to my bed so she can kick me all night in the ribs and face. Drift off to sleep, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, snoooooooze.... WAKEUP and do it all over again!

So yes, maybe it's complaining and maybe I do this to myself, but on top of all this I hope to scrapbook in my free time, wait.... what free time? I also want to get back into painting, I want to do great things with my photography by creating an online store - etsy.com, I want to get into the franchise business, work with my real estate license, take photography classes--I missed the cutoff for February class-ugh! Oh yeah and landscape my backyard by myself, at the same time as having a fourth child by the way... That's not too much right?

1 comment:

Lena said...

Wow Liz, I knew you were always busy but just reading this makes me tired. Yes I think soe you do bring on yourself, but that's just you! Like you said, you are a known procrastenator (sp?) and you work best that way. That along makes me nervous. I'd rather plan my day and check my list off as the day goes. I don't like surprises or "unscheduled" events in my day. Maybe that is why the good Lord said, "this chick wouldn't be able to handle kids!" I also like simplisity, I don't feel I need to do a lot like you do, where yo got that from is beyond me! I don't think Yvonne is that way either. Well I'm gonna end my comment now before it becomes a story! LOL